Having trouble picking up chicks? Approach quietly from behind and crouch down. Scoop up the chick. You picked up a chick. Success! (Disclaimer: You may have to get cosmetic surgery first.)

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  Ask Me About My Father
  
  

  I'm great in bed. I can sleep for hours
  
  

  Being a vegetarian - it's a big missed steak!
  
  

  Gone Cow Tipping
  
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  What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger. Except For Bears. Bears Will Kill You.
  
  

  With A Body Like This Who Needs Hair?
  
  

  You Look Funny With Your Head Turned To The Side
  
  

  It just got worse. I am Dave
  
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  Clowns To The Left Of Me, Jokers To The Right
  
  

  I Put The Man In Romance!
  
  

  Let's Play Carpenter First We Get Hammered Then I Nail You
  
  

  No To AV
  

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  I Put The Hot In Psychotic
  
  

  Sleep Is For Mortals
  
  

  Please Do Not Disturb, I Am Disturbed Enough Already
  
  

  Gamer Rekt
  
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  Home Is Where The... Wifi Connects Automatically
  
  

  Gym Is For Life. Not Just For January.
  
  

  Dear Algebra
  
  

  Same Shit Different Day
  
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  The Floor is Lava
  
  

  If You're Happy And You Know It
  
  

  Off Duty Mum
  
  

  Bitches Be Trippin'